everybody’s singing about love but nobody’s feeling it
and what about us? what about us lost kids and lost hearts with nowhere else to go?

i looked left and right, but the crosswalk disappeared and the street swallowed me whole.
this is not a metaphor, and I’m writing to you from a strange, dark, sewer, and I’m all alone in the cold. please inform city hall immediately, i think there are rats...
but as i was saying, the streets of this city swallowed whole, devoured my soul, until i was nothing but a shadow in the darkness.
even the rats do not see me now, let alone any of you. its dark and I’m cold.
the solution seems obvious, to light a fire, but there’s not a lot to burn here. there are other shadows, i think, and the rats, but i can’t just set them on fire, it seems cruel, they don’t deserve that. they’re just lost. lost like i am.
so i’ll push everyone away before i set myself alight, cause i need something to keep me warm on these cold, cold winter nights. and you’d better hope you see me in your dreams tonight, cause its the last you’ll ever see of me.
but this is not me. i have adopted a personality that’s not my own and i am haunted by demons that i have sown in the ground that i walk and i scorch it as i burn and I’m sorry, okay, its just—
a monster crawled inside my head and I’m probably already dead, so whats it matter anyway? i don’t know who I’m supposed to be so i’ll let the demon take control and burn me down cause it seems to know just whats best, and ill steal from everyone around me and create this personality, this insincere self that I’m living through and shoving and pushing away but i can’t, and i can’t stand this.

i’ve got crazy thoughts and violent urges
and i fought but i deserve this
been to 4am and back again I’m not the sun
comes up at the end cause i always fall asleep
and its my secret that i’ll keep I’ve spent each one of these past weeks
learning how to tear myself apart and here’s whats lying in my heart
ever since that day in june
I’ve been haunted my the moon,
and my head, and that box calling my name
and it won’t stop.

and my skin is a canvas and i know i never planned this
but this paintbrush is not enough to hide how its all soaked through with blood
but please remember what i said, theres a monster living in my head,
this is not me, ill beg and plead, this is not who i want to be.

please don’t take me seriously
this is a joke, this is a mask,
please don’t believe what’s come to pass,
please don’t believe what i’ve become,
please do not see i’ve come undone.
I’m sorry.